Being a teenager is hard. Is your teen always stressed about the drama they are experiencing? Are their emotions out of control? If you have a teen who is experiencing stress and is having trouble coping with life and their emotions, this may just be the right time to help them learn life skills. Life skills are skills necessary to effectively manage everyday life. Teens should learn life skills to make them confident, independent, adaptable and caring adults. By learning these skills, they will have a great chance of having a successful future.

There are three components of Life Skills: 1) Thinking, Problem-Solving & Decision-Making Skills, 2) Interpersonal & Communication Skills, and 3) Coping & Self-Management Skills. In Life Skills to Teach Your Children Before They Graduate, we covered Thinking, Problem-Solving & Decision-Making Skills. We covered Interpersonal & Communications Skills in Teach Teens Life Skills Now for Future Success. In this post, we will concentrate on the third component, Coping & Self-Management Skills.

Coping & Self-Management Life Skills

Teens are known for their raging emotional swings. All the new hormones they are experiencing will give them plenty of opportunities to practice Coping & Self-Management Life Skills. Coping & Self-Management Life Skills is the ability to understand how we will behave, the emotions we will experience, the judgments we will make in different situations, and then being able to respond appropriately. This skill takes a lot of self-reflection. The result will provide us with a great tool for the future, self-control. Coping & Self-Management Skills can be broken down into three life skills: Self-Awareness Skills, Coping with Stress Skills, and Controlling Emotions Skills. Let’s launch into each of these life skills teens should learn for a successful future.

Self-Awareness-Life Skills Teens Should Learn

Self-Awareness Life Skill is the recognition of our emotions, beliefs, behaviors, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses. In addition to recognition, self-awareness also allows us to be aware of how these things influence our choices and the repercussions of those choices. These are some strong skills. Dare I say Self-Awareness Life Skill may be one of the most powerful life skills to learn?

This is definitely a life skill teens should learn. But, how can you help them practice this skill? Self-reflection is the best way. I know teens are so busy these days it might be hard for them to take the time for self-reflection, but encourage them to take the time. One way for them to do this is to journal. Putting thoughts on paper (or on-screen) will really help them reflect on their thoughts. Journalling allows your teen to not only think a thought, but the action writing or typing that thought gives them another way to reflect on their thoughts.

If your teen isn’t the journaling type, don’t worry, there other ways for self-reflection. Setting aside a few minutes every day to think about situations they encountered that day. They can do this alone or with a trusted family member. Have them ask themselves questions during their reflection time. How did that situation make them feel? How did they respond to the situation? What beliefs or motivations do they think made them respond that way? What strengths and/or weaknesses did they demonstrate during this situation? If this situation were to happen again, would they respond the same or differently?

Remind your teen to monitor his or her self-talk during self-reflection. At times, we all can be our own worst enemy by dwelling on the negative things we think about ourselves. To encourage more positive self-talk, occasionally have your teens share their self-reflections with you or another trusted adult. This will not only give you a chance to keep a check on their self-talk but also ensure they are gaining feedback from someone other than themselves.

Coping with Stress-Life Skills Teens Should Learn

Life has teenagers stretched thin these days with so many extra-curricular activities, preparing for college, and the normal day-to-day drama with classmates. It’s not hard to believe with all this on your teen’s plate that they are stressed. Unfortunately, it is not possible to live a stress-free life. Learning to cope with stress is really the only option.

In order for your teen to learn to cope with stress, they first have to identify the source of the stress. This may seem like a no-brainer, but if your teen is really stressed and has a million things going on, it can be a little hard to pinpoint the situation causing the stress. And it is really hard to work through the stress without knowing what is causing it.

Once your teen has the stressor identified, there are two constructive coping mechanisms they should learn. The first is to change the stressful situation. Your teen may have the opportunity to change or influence parts of the stressful situation, which can then lead to less stress. In some cases, they may also learn how to avoid certain stressful situations altogether. In changing the stressful situation, your teen will gain back some control which will also reduce the feeling of stress. The second coping mechanism is for your teen to change their reaction to the stressor. For your teen to change their reaction, they will need to learn to accept the situation for what it is and to adapt to the stress. Finding things to be thankful for will help immensely to stay positive through stressful situations.

Another important way to help reduce the effects of stressful situations and in turn help teens cope with stress is living a physically and mentally healthy lifestyle. A physically healthy lifestyle can be things like eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and exercising. Things your teen can do to stay mentally healthy are getting outdoors more, prioritizing spiritual time, taking time for a hobby, and connecting with friends and family. If your teen has been trying these coping mechanisms and is still have trouble coping with stress, there is absolutely no shame in seeing a licensed counselor or therapist. There are times in life when we all could use help getting through difficult times.

Controlling Emotions-Life Skills Teens Should Learn

Controlling one’s emotions is being able to maintain composure during times of stress. This is a tall task, even for adults. Whether it is due to raging hormones or just inexperience in controlling emotions, teens will have many days where they will be overcome with emotions. Therefore, see this as an opportunity to help them learn how to control their emotions.

As you are helping your teen learn to control their emotions, remember this is a process and will take some time. The first thing to teach your teen is having emotions is completely normal. We are all humans and humans have emotions. We should also teach our teens it is very important to feel emotions and not to repress emotions. Allow them to feel their feelings and teach them how to identify their emotions. Feeling emotions is different than reacting to emotions. This is where controlling emotions start to take shape.

Teaching your teen to separate their feelings from their actions is how they will master this skill of controlling their emotions. To do this, your teens will have to learn to stop and think, instead of immediately reacting. Have your teen think about why they are experiencing this emotion. Your teens should learn to not give in to negative thoughts. Instead, have them reframe their thoughts. Try to find something good about the situation or something for which they can be grateful. Even in strong emotions, your teen has the ability to control their thoughts and reactions. Once your teen learns this, they will have a great start to master this life skill.

As we have discussed previously, learning life skills is all about practicing. No one is born an expert at any of these important skills. The more your teens can practice these skills now, the more successful they will be at Coping & Self Management Life Skills as they become adults. We all know that adulthood can bring some big challenges that can cause a lot of stress and emotions. So let’s help set them up to successfully cope with anything that may come their way.

If you missed the first two posts of this Life Skills series discussing Thinking, Problem-Solving & Decision-Making Skills, and Interpersonal & Communications Skills, check them out at Life Skills to Teach Your Teen Before They Graduate and Teach Teens Life Skills Now for Future Success.

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